I thought about what this Christmas is going to be like and a tear or two escaped my eye. Yeah, the left one that’s always the most rebellious.

I thought about how we do Christmas mornings. How we have evolved from a loud house of seven children just happy to see our Dad before he jets off to somewhere on a Reggae mission to deep discussions at breakfast.

It grew into just us, sharing our hearts with each other in the quiet of the morning. Reflecting on the year that has gone, the joys, the sorrows, the lessons, and most importantly, the blessings. Speaking about our hopes for the next year, the plans we have, how they feed into our personal visions, how they feed into building Jamaica, and how we see God using it for His Glory.

The breakfast, made up of pretty much whatever is there, almost always is 100% Jamaican. Coffee, Kidney / Liver, Boiled Yam & Banana, Fried Breadfruit, Fresh Juice, Stew Chicken, Sorrel, Callaloo… Except the wine, which somehow is always Australian :)

I love this Ministry-Business-Catch Up-hug up-support group styled meeting. I love that it starts and ends with Prayer, that Daddy shares the Word with us, that we sing a worship song with sleep still in our eyes, that we share not just our hearts but our lives, first thing in the morning before the world comes barging in. It’s the raw honesty of our love.

This year, I won’t be able to share these moments with the people who matter the most. As a matter of fact, I will likely be at work just praying that I won’t freeze to death. No big family dinners to go to, no special parties to attend, no phone calls with the besties, just work and sleep.

I will miss Christmas Morning, but unlike today, I will not let a tear escape, I will think of the $1500US I am saving by not going home. I will pretend that the money really matters.